Stream of Consciousness On a Thursday Afternoon

January 04, 2018

Despite this cozy picture, it is so hard to get back into any semblance of normalcy around here. It's like a summer night when the stars are all out on display and, as you look up, you are in awe of the great cosmic peace but there's a cricket symphony playing constantly in the background here on earth. Things seem peaceful & normal sometimes, but we just can't outrun the crickets.

Everything has changed. Just over a month ago, my plans were to try for nursing school again and then do some travel nursing from an Airstream. After a couple years of that, we talked about coming back to Nashville so that we would be close enough for these three little cousins to grow up together. And, now...all of that has disappeared into a fog. For now, Naiya must continue her healing journey with Vanderbilt and I am dedicated to getting into nursing school. I am studying anything about her cancer that I can get my hands on. Naiya has an elevated risk of relapse and so this will be a lifetime journey of seeking wellness. We must rely on Western medicine to heal her of this cancer and Eastern medicine to try to maintain homeostasis. She will get the best of good nutrition, supplementation, and holistic therapies.

On the homefront, there has been some good change. Right after Naiya's diagnosis, I wandered into a nearby health store to check out their selection of supplements I intended to collect for her and, after striking up good conversation with the staff, was offered a job! So, I'm back in that holistic health shop life...two days a week. It has been a pleasant perk to have seen quite a few old customers from the little shop on the square! I wasn't looking for any outside work, but this staff is so knowledgeable that this feels like the best way I can support Naiya right now. I also started a new magnesium supplement that is making a difference in my body. I can tell that I am absorbing more magnesium than I ever did with the Natural Calm. And, I recently decided to give CBD oil a try. I have been having a terrible time sleeping again and melatonin was not working for me. So, at just 1.5 mg right before bed, I fall asleep on my own and even though I still wake up during the night, I am able to fall back asleep without it taking 2+ hours of listening to the mental chatter inside my brain. The quietening of that chatter has been the most remarkable benefit of CBD for me. I've also fallen in love with a local yoga studio. It is everything I personally want in a studio...spirituality, asana, and connection.

I am also feeling very sure that being a holistic nurse is what I was called to do in this life. Looking back, it is impossible to ignore the many paths which led me to this revelation. Twelve days before Naiya's diagnosis, I journaled about the 11:11 phenomenon and how it was suddenly back in my life. Message received, Universe. 

Today, Naiya was able to come inside my house for a minute...these three girls were reunited and it did all of our hearts such good. Very conscious of what a blessing that is. Sending love and good energy out to anyone reading these words, thank you for your presence here.
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